hi all you kids...
wow.....its been another little whirlwind of many emotions, so many lessons, and so much beauty in all the right things.....
I am leaving today, out of the cold, and into the sunshine!!! yaaaaay!!...oh the sweet warmth of the sunshine....I will go to Chennai, in the South, the state of Tamil Nadu, it will take a few days in total.... so its a big trip Im about to going on! Before yesterday morn, amy and i had already decided to split up, ''when it was right'' we said all along, and we both decided it was a good thang....so no stress...but yesterday morn amy found out some news that may change things for her, she is going back to canada, after some reevaluation of her lifes priorities, and spending time with a very special friend that we made....he is a man with much wisdom and so much kindness and soul...Ganu, he was our guide in our 4-day hike up to the top of a mountain where i saw the peaks of 2 of the 3 highest mountains in the world, and heaven...on the anniversery of my mothers death...i will expand on this later, but for now...the status is...amy is going back to canada.....brrrr..... sorry to say that for all of you who are there...and i continue the journey alone, with so much love and admiration for amy....we brought eachother here to India, and we would not have experienced what we had if it were not for eachother...for all of you that know her, and for all of you that may one day meet her...she is one of the brightest most enthusiastic positive souls in the world...! we said we would split when it is the complete right time so i will carry on and thank the gods that we brought eachother all that we have in our lives....
i have attached some photos, first is from the beginning of our trip, when we got some beautiful henna in Delhi, drinkin some Chai, the man in the background with a big kind smile, and one gold tooth, is the owner of the shop, and the maker of the mendhi (henna design) art! SO beautiful...
2nd pic is me seeing heaven, the 3rd is the first day trekking up, you can see how beautiful the jungley cold mountainside is!!
So, are you ready for this one....get yo self some tea, preferably chai with milk and sugar, maybe a pot, and here we go.....
this email seems to revolve around dates...darjeeling taught me many lessons, and these lessons seemed to revolve around 2 very important dates....my mothers death anniversery, and my 25th birthday....
Major lessons....
Family, Culture, Nature..... Cycles of Life and Death..... Humanity, kindness, amazing beauty of Mother Earth.... from the words of 'The Paradox of Our Age'' from the Dalai Lama from Tibet(now presently in exile residing in Himachel Pradesh in Northern India)... http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/6807/LessonsForLife.html ...
Darjeeling (aka Queen of the Hill- you know i love the Diva names... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darjeeling ), or Gorkhaland....as most of the inhabitants would have this patch of land be called....the people who live here, and surrounding towns, up towards Nepal...they are Gorkha people...if you remember, in my first email i wrote in arriving here, i was like Wow, the people are so different lookin, they look so nepali...well....yeah, its because they are Gorkha people...and they want the rights to this being their own state, so they can let their "unique to India"" culture continue on in their land...they are losing their language and culture, and as the generations grow older...the younger ones are losing touch with their roots, they need to learn in schools and communities where they are free to learn their language and culture and beliefs and customs.....this is a story we have all heard before, and it is a sad story that spreads far and wide, all over this world, and the reality of this westernized and money and success-oriented society takes over.....for these people...this IS a reality....
When we arrived in Gorkhaland, we almost immediately met little Diksha, a 12 year old spunky little diva....i love her....i walk holding her hand, she makes me laugh my face off.... her mother and father and cute brother have invited us into their home so many times, and were quite disappointed that i cancelled on the plan to share my birthday with them, as Sangeeta thinks of us as her 2 daughters.... I really have loved sharing time and some of my life with them....I will forever miss Diksha....that spunky little girl.... later that day, Amy and i decided against going to Sikkim, and stay in Darjeeling, so we looked at tour agencies just to see what we could do...since neither of us has guide books....we ended up randomly, well, running on instinct, booking a 4 day trek (hike) leaving the following day at 6:15 am which ended up being 4 days, 53 km, hiking uphill largely, in the mountains of eastern India, and Nepal....wandering through villages and jungle and cold, and sunshine, and freezing, and smelling and experiencing and it was such a random and one of if not the most beautiful experiences so far.... I came back into our room on the second night...after walking 12 km up, and Amy was in bed, she had altitude sickness, a pulled groin, and was in very bad shape to say the least...and i could only respond to her question of how watchin the sun set was....with ''i saw god'....... that trip, i saw heaven....i cant really even say what god is....here there are so many gods i cant even count them on one centipedes arms.... but what i saw, and felt, and breathed and experienced.....was god-like, heaven like......
that day, December 8, 2008, was 17 years since my mother died...and i was in pure mother nature mountain earth....the air is clean, and pure and fresh and cold....the trees are alive, and untouched....they are free to grow....the smells that nature provided and Ganu- the wonderful guide- highlighted were so refreshing...the sights of nature, touching and feeling.....the weather, my physical body.... feeling its own maximums ....working through the uphill with my breathing, and my mind, and my mothers death, and life.....all helping me up the mountain....that day everyone said it was going to snow.....can you believe it....me climbing a mountain in the snow....ha hah a, right.....but it was a holy blessing that day, only the sun shone....and it meant that we hiked with the sun right in our faces for beautiful intervals, when we weren't hiding in bamboo panda-ville, which we sadly did not see, no pandas...but much bamboo, which made for a wonderful tribal walking stick......the sun was shining, i walked by myself 85% of the time, amy walked with Ganu 95% of the time..... this is where we differed amy and I, the alone time vs. talk time.....and it is what makes her so beautiful, and what makes me me.....also beautiful....
when we arrived on the top of Sandakphu, where we stayed, a borderplace, between India and Nepal....Amy was not feelin hot, she went straight to bed (where she continued to puke etc....we didnt know until we came back.....), and Ganu and i headed to the highest peak we could find....we were surrounded by clouds....and the sun was setting....we walked up, there were tibetan/buddhist prayer flags hanging all over....these are the sets of red, green, yellow, blue and white flags with prayers written on them...the thought is the wind can carry these prayers as far as the wind can take them...and the top of this mountain was WINDDDDYYYY.....it was so beautiful.....the sun setting....on top of these cushions and cushions of flowing thick white clouds.....i was sitting on the highest peak i could sit on, over 3630 metres, looking at this with my own 2 eyes, after climbing probably the hardest climb my own 2 little feet have ever climbed....looking at what i could only describe as heaven.....
this is what i wrote at the top, i had to remember.....
''the wind is so strong....HOLY SHIT....this is for you Mom, and Ira Joel Dad, and all the people whom i've ever met, and love and didn't love, and for all those people who will never be able to come here....and see it, and feel it, and smell it, and hear it, and touch it, and taste it.
I am so Alive.....I LOVE YOU!!!''
and i screamed i love you, in all directions, it was a spinner.....
the moon was already glowing, almost full moon.... it was at this point where there was such clairty...it was like i was allowed to enter the true higher states of consciousness that so many beautiful religions and philosophies describe....for just this moment in time....i was given a glimpse to what could be.....and it was beautiful....and exhillerating, and it felt like god.....
whew....deep breathe....and there were oms chanted, by myself, and with Ganu....this universal sound of peace....and consciousness.....for all of you.....i mean it from my entire soul......
when it got too dark...we walked back down to find amy in a yucky little place.... we cared for her that night....and to be honest, on this day, this day that is unlike any other day in my life....we needed to all support eachother....amy supported my silence....and i was able to nurture her in a time when she needed me....and Ganu supported us both, in what we both needed....he really is like a true saint....
the rest of the trek was beautiful and amazing and so many other special feelings and sights and experiences, im not going to go into it.....except to say the next day, we woke up, after a FREEZING night....and a rough night for little amy, and saw the sunrise....and the clouds had cleared up a bit, so now i could see 2 of the highest peaks in the ENTIRE world....i saw the top on Konchendzonga, the 3rd highest, and i also saw the peak of Mt. Everest, the HIGHEST....it truly was a holy blessing....and all this was seen on the day of my mothers death.....it really truly was a holy blessing.....
that day mother earths heaven invoked my flow....right before the moon was full.....it was as the sun was rising that my flow began.....mother earth never fails to amaze me.....honestly...the more i see, the more i feel, the more i connect to her....the more clarity and understanding i feel....
Next major Story here... my birthday....
we arrived back from our beautiful 4 day trek, new chapter, new experiences, new flow, full moon...I am amazed at the semi-ease in which the whole trek was for me, even though its been a long time since i've done such a trek, if ever.... 53 km in 4 days, with no recent trekking experience, i didnt think it was possible...i am thankful that yoga and body health consciousness has been so central for me in recent years, I had some seriously sore calves upon return to darjeeling, but nothing major...it reminds me of how thankful i am to have such a strong and able body....a good reminder...and so i will continue to strengthen and love it......
Dikshas family was adamant about us coming over for a full meal with the family as SOON as we came back to town...we said the following day would be perfect....and it was....her mother made sure we were stuffed to the brim, with her DELICIOUS food....they were also REALLY excited about my birthday, and little diksha was scheming, shortly after, Ganu invited us to his family home in a little village outside of the central darjeeling.... and although i did not want to dissapoint my lovely little Diksha....it was something that was really too special to not do....so the 13th, day before my birthday, after buying train tickets out of DArjeeling....Ganu came to our little hotel mall glory and we started our short trek down to his village.
wow....what an honour to be invited to his home....really.... on our way down, we stopped at a Tibetan Refugee Centre.... where i ripped out me hula hula....and we had such a wonderful time with those kids.... since China invaded Tibet in 1949, 1.2 million live feeling and breathing human beings have been killed, the population of tibetans is now only 6 million in tibet (with China having approx. 7.5 million humans there- NOT in their country....more than the original inhabitants themselsves...) these children that i got to entertain with my 'magic' as they called it....were born here in Darjeeling, India, where many people have escaped to...these children were BORN in this (lovely) refugee centre....NOT in their motherland.... so this was also an honour to get to bring unexpected happiness to their (and my) day and to their elders of all different ages and smiles...truly.... after i hula'd, they danced for us, and we played ring-around-the-rosy, and a range of fun games...and we all laughed and played.... it was here that i learned a lot about the present state of Tibet and Tibetans, and where i read about teh Dalai Lama and his poem the Paradox of Our Age that i put a link to above....i really recommend reading and having a good think about that....maybe get another pot brewing and brew over this REALITY for a bit....
We continued down again....walking the windy roads....through paths and streets and by many Gorkha people smiling, saying Namaste, checking them out as they checked us out....what a nice human exchange when it comes from pure curiousity and no underlying thoughts.....
when we arrived at Ganu's elders sisters house....the first thing i saw, and got to experience was the smell of a rose in his garden....SO beautiful.... and it continued....there were the most beautful orchids i have ever seen in my whole life....i don't think i had ever really understood orchids until seing thes ones.....it is mother earth equisite perfection in flower form....absolutely amazing..... and this was where i was going to be waking up for my birthday....the blessings continue....
we ate some wonderful lunch made by Ganu's niece Bhindia, a beautiful Gorkha version of Christina Ricci, and went for alittle walk to explore the village a little bit more....came across a whole patch of kids....who were talking about my earring, it looked like i had worms in my ears, and i met the first little girl who was acutally genuinelly terrified of me...its kind of hilarious....but really sorta sad at the same time, like i think she had nightmares about this really bizarre human being she encountered that day.... it was really fun tho....we all chased eachother and made faces....kids stuff....u know....
that night we all cooked together, well, amy and i learned, the vegetables were largely from the land in the village, this wicked green veggie that i first tried in central america, cooked with in Canada, and it grows wild everywhere here in gorkhaland, we ate the 'fruit' and we at teh root vegetable also, beautfiul...the whjole plant is used, right frm the land, as it always should be...that night we made momo's, nepali style steamed veggie dumplings....and we helped from start to finish....so special... and we had tea, and we talked....and then we went to sleep....
December 14....yaaaay....i woke up with Ganu giving me a perfect little rose from his garden, yellow in the centre, spreading to pink outer petals....and i went out and had some reflectin time in the garden....25 years old....in a little village in north-eastern India...looking at, in awe of, and falling in love (again!) with the most beautiful flowers....the sun is shining....ARE YOU SERIOUS? is this all true....
i looked for a flat patch of land....and i did a headstand....this has been a yogic posture that only happens in times of balance...in times of focus, colllected mind and thought.... I have been working towards this off and on for years, and only since coming to India have i learned that it is so much mind... i thank god that i had this moment in time to have the balanced mind...
after a deliciuos breakfast of rice pudding and leftover momo's...we continued down towards another of Ganu's sisters house....she was very eager to meet us.... (can u believe it still? my birthday, and this wonderful person excited to meet us??!?! ) along the way we stopped in a bare patch of land where some young boys were flying kites....Ganu asked, and i got to fly it as well....so wonderful!!! the kids here love flying kites, what a peaceful pastime....much better then nintendo violence or mind-numbing television i would say!...by the time we got to the house, the meaning and truth about family was quickly expanding to show me so much beauty in the life here....
Ganu's sister is married to one of the 3 sons here, so there are a few families and the father and mother of the households...and just numerous people that it was hard to keep track of who fit in where....all i knew was this was family, and that day, we were very much a part of it....they wanted us to be so comfortable, they wanted to feed us,it is like an honour for them....they want to feed you, and you should eat a lot...and show how much you like it, this is such an honour for THEM...and let them serve YOU...amy had issues with that, she was always trying too clean up after, and she was never allowed to.... often here in India at family homes they would serve us first, then sort of watch us eat for a while, see what we needed, put more of as much as they could onto our plates....and then eat themselves....its so beautiful to be honest...you are their guest.....and they want you to be happy... we went to the village temple, which was one of my wishes that day...and i went and offered the rose that Ganu had given me as an offering of appreciation for all that i have and my life that i am so lucky to be living...
after lunch....amy went off with ganus nephew for a little adventure....i had spotted a new baby, and for my birthday, i wanted to spend time with a new mama and fresh little baby....only 1 month and 2 days old....as soon as i said i would like to spend itme with the baby, it was like it was once again, an honour for them...this beautiful 23 year old mother Reema handed me her cozied up little baby with no qualms about it.... a beautiful little baby...just staring at my face....wow...... it was so beautfiul, and such a lovely gift..... i really look forward to this amazing experience of motherhood....this mama and i didnt speak any language, but she knew i was honoured just as i knew she felt the same.... its not about the words as i so often am reminded...... in the room with us all the ladies were joining....there was the elder mama of the household, such BEAUTIFUL lines in her face....when she smiled....it was like she just warmed up your soull...and the little girls, and ganus sister, i was with all these women whom i have never met before in my life....and felt really really at home and happy....the mama love....in a rural village in India....my 25th birthday.....wheeew....deep breathe...
we looked at marriage pictures of the new mama, her and her husbands marriage was a love marriage, and i learned this is true for many of the gorkha people! although he is in the army, a route that many men choose, as Darjeeling is a bordering area for Nepal, and Bhutan, and China and Tibet and Bangladesh...this means the women see their husbands for only 2 months out of the year.... and then we looked at the marriage video and saw the beautiful ceremonies.... then i was stolen from the crowd because the lovely Ganu told his sister that i had a little wound that needed to be tended, so this woman whom i just met was on her knees cleaning a wound on my foot....no second thoughts....out of pure love and human kindness....i was amazed....
when it came time to leave...i was really amazed to feel myself just bawling....crying these tears...how was it, that this hubungous family opened up their home and their life and their happiness and theior purity and their love to me....i didn't even know them....and its my birthday.....i dont know if they had any idea how much it meant to me...i dont even think i have any idea...but when i think of what they added to my life....with such simple beuatiful gestures, it brings me back to those tears.... tears of pure amazement at how beautiful the simple life can be....and i absolutely do not mean simple in anywhere CLOSE to a derogatory life....i mean simple, basic, pure, natural, real, genuine.......mother earth simplicity and beauty....
we walked home, it was dark....it took a while, nothing is aroudn the corner, they're on a mountainside....Ganu's elder sister had returned home from the marriage ceremony she was out, we slept at her house the night before but still had not met the woman..... i found out that she is the head of the womans gorkhaland activist group...after eating, we sat around a fire....she still had hardly spoken or smiled at me....she had a very strong presence....i whispered to amy that she truly was such a strong collected woman, so much that she almost intimidated me....therefore SO much R-E-S-P-E-C-T....what a solid human being....what a solid WOMAN...they boiled some hot water and soaked my feet again to clean it all up....tended to again by these beatiful strangers....
you know i think its time to stop beacuase i could really just go on...i really am just amazed at what just happened...in such a different way then Varanasi.... these people here loved me without knowing anything about me really.... what does this say about human beings? about 'one love'? about genuine soul and caring? where are our priorities in the 'developed world'?
i have such mixed and confliciting emotions for all that i have been raised with...all the things that we do in canada, the way we treat eachother, the way we treat strangers....the fact that is is so strange to talk to others, and open up our souls to them....
after saying all of this....the longest email yet this trip, i know...and really i could sit down and continue....there are more bits....we came home, we celebrated all of our birthdays at Dikshas, we gave little gifts, we dressed up in our most beautiful clothes...we laughed, we ate, we held hands....
and now....i leave in just over an hour to Chennai, to the South, Ganu will come walk me to my ride...it will take 3 hours to get to the train station, then train till morning, take taxi to other train station, then 26 hour train ride down to Chennai....then i dont know where im sleeping.... i've been dealing with some serious dysentry to put it nicely since december 15, day after my birthday, so this very long journey may be a messy toughy....but hey...jin-di-gee.....life....
i have so much to think about....so much to be thankful for....Darjeeling has taught me a lifetime of lessons, and Amy too...she is not coming down with me...tomorrow she goes home to tend to her grandmother....after this time in Darjeeling....we have really had our eyes opened to what life is about.... in its truest form....
so, alas, i must go say goodbye to my little sister Diksha, my very very good friend and true Didi (sister) amy....i will miss her a lot...she taught me so much about myself, and we are leaving eachother with so much respect and knowledge from eachother....the tears are in....so i must go....
thank you so mcuh for listening, honestly...all that i can say is that i really hope that you listen to all that i am saying, and that you really really really do.....i really think we need to see what is happening in front of our eyes....like really see....with all of our senses, and all of our souls....
its not always easy, its not always happy, but at the same time, the truth behind all of it is so amazingly beautiful that it shoul d bring tears and humbleness to all of us....we should all be spending time praying and appreciating what we have... i am thankful to have come here and to have been opened up to wishing and praying and appreciating the little things, and making it part of my every day life....i am thankful that prayer and appreciation is part of my life....
and i can tell you that all of you have been in my thoughts...in some way or another....
enjoy....think, listen, feel, smell, touch.....and really listen and look.....please.....
with love...and birthday wishes from me to you...
sunni
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment