here i am not referring to our clothing...
being in toronto, canada... i need to clairfy... as we are a bit shallow here :) to be honest...
too caught up in ego, i believe... hence the need to clarify...
i want to talk about 'our closets'... that i believe most of us have...
different variations of 'full'... of our complex mind patterns...
things we do, that we are a bit in denial about...
some of which are disorder-like... some harmful to ourselves... some harmful to others...
but i believe we all have things that we do... and these behaviours/patterns are harmful.
it makes me sad a bit, because i know we all have our tender/tricky spots, in ourselves...
but something about these acts, and behaviours... that are socially 'undesirable' to BE or DO...
we just keep them...
in our closets...
some people know... sometimes... only are close confidantes, or lovers... or families...
sometimes not...
and that can be more difficult for us... because our closets exist... and we are the one connected and connecting to them... sometimes too much... and spend too much time in there... caught up, unable to get away... it's hard to break away... those patterns are strong... that closet deep... and holds much draw...
i have a couple extreme-ish examples in my head right now...
one is the situation of sexuality... there are many 'perversions', or 'extremities' or 'kinks' people participate in... some are socially acceptable, some are illegal, and some are in an interesting grey area... some are probably more common than you think, in practice... but perhaps kept quiet, as overall... sexuality is generally a 'closeted' act... i would say world-wide...
sometimes, they may seem fairly healthy, and balanced... unharmful... in the case of healthy consensual sexual relationships... yes, they are 'closeted', as in, it is not public business... but people go about their lives in a healthy way, and all acts were done in a true consensual way... whether or not it is viewed as the 'normal' way of doing 'sex'...
sometimes it is not though... some of the actions are harmful, people's bodies and emotioanl stability are damaged... and sometimes that 'stuff' that was hidden in that closet, those harmful actions... come out... it becomes a raw truth, out in the open... and for some perhaps a sense of relief at that harmful closet doors are shattered... for others, it means their dangerous ways, THEIR harmful actions are no longer protected by those closet doors... it is open... it is KNOWN...
i wonder if people in the public then reflect... on their 'closeted' issues... patterns... behaviours...
those things that we do... feel... act out... participate in... choose...
that we ALSO put in the closet... maybe before we were not conscious of it's existence, now we see... we too have stuff in closets.
it's really hard to unwind... or unravel... a tightly habituated pattern... especially when it is one that you are trying to keep quiet... deep inside the closet...
another example...is the situation of eating disorders... like bulimia...
that is done in the privacy of one's own home... usually... there is an element of hiding, needing to do it in privacy... of internal thought processes taking over... and acting out upon the physical embodiment...
it is complex... it is dangerous, very harmful... very isolating... very scary...
a truth, that both these examples share: to harm oneself, or others... it is the KNOWING that that is unaceptable behaviour by common social ideals.... is the exact complexity that 'closets' it in the firstplace...
shame... is a common feeling, that i think gets people STUCK in repeating those behaviours...
i am not a specialist... in sexuality, or eating disorders... but i do have sex, and i do eat... and i have grown up in this culture... so i am aware of the complexity surrounding both... and the messaging, and non-teachings... and lack of true comfortable HEALTH with both, that truly permeates all of our lives...
it's the stuff that ends up in our closets...
its the complex stuff, we start off with a bit of shame over.. and somehow.. it has gotten pushed further back into the closet... trying to hide... until, something forces it to come out...
into the open...
and that is hard... but it also maybe is healthier long term... maybe?
i guess i cannot say... to be a person, who is so deeply hiding habits and patterns that are apparently so undesirable to be out in public with... because of the harm they cause... to have those forced out... could be the end...
with those extreme examples, some of those behaviours already are so self-damaging... perhaps this is the cherry on top... and its too much to handle...
it's too bad we have such difficulties as humyns in this lifetime... in this day-n-age...
we all have closets... i believe we do...
our closets...
and i think that they are pretty big... over abundance, over consumption... we don't know what to do do with it all... we need to hide it... to store it... and the closets and storage gets bigger... (now i am talking a bit of clothing as well, i'm talking tangibly and metaphorically!)
what do we have in there.. what do we hide?
things from our pasts... that we did, that we said... that we regret... that we want to hide, forget about it... shove it under that rug... into that closet... and hope it comes with us into the deathbed...
how much do our closets haunt us... come into our minds...interfere with our lives...
perhaps it's minimal... and life moves on... we rarely dip back into closet space... it's no big deal...
an ambivalent relationship we may have with our closets... not too many worries or regrets or shames...
i wish that was true for most...
but some people really have a hard time, and that is hard to go through i think...
and i feel for them... especially if they are harming others... or harming themselves...
to be stuck in that cycle... deep in that dark closet... it's hard.
it's hard to be in denial so deep... out in the world with one appearance, but a heavy truth haunting you from deep inside that closet of your mind...
deep breathe out...
May we all find the ways out of harmful behaviours...
May we find the right teachings, and teachers... to guide us along... to bring us to a place of healthy mind, healthy body... whole health.
to everyone, that looks a bit different... some it may include a strict diet, or extravagant and playful sexual lives...
May those who have too much darkness, stuck inside a closet that exists in their lives... find a way out... find a way to open that closet... let some of it out... to free them up to be in a simple better place.
It's a complex life... so many mixed messages we have received... so many teachings, that do not connect us back to righteous principles...
May we try to connect though, and be true and real...
if not just for ourselves...
to lead an honest and transparent life...
being in toronto, canada... i need to clairfy... as we are a bit shallow here :) to be honest...
too caught up in ego, i believe... hence the need to clarify...
i want to talk about 'our closets'... that i believe most of us have...
different variations of 'full'... of our complex mind patterns...
things we do, that we are a bit in denial about...
some of which are disorder-like... some harmful to ourselves... some harmful to others...
but i believe we all have things that we do... and these behaviours/patterns are harmful.
it makes me sad a bit, because i know we all have our tender/tricky spots, in ourselves...
but something about these acts, and behaviours... that are socially 'undesirable' to BE or DO...
we just keep them...
in our closets...
some people know... sometimes... only are close confidantes, or lovers... or families...
sometimes not...
and that can be more difficult for us... because our closets exist... and we are the one connected and connecting to them... sometimes too much... and spend too much time in there... caught up, unable to get away... it's hard to break away... those patterns are strong... that closet deep... and holds much draw...
i have a couple extreme-ish examples in my head right now...
one is the situation of sexuality... there are many 'perversions', or 'extremities' or 'kinks' people participate in... some are socially acceptable, some are illegal, and some are in an interesting grey area... some are probably more common than you think, in practice... but perhaps kept quiet, as overall... sexuality is generally a 'closeted' act... i would say world-wide...
sometimes, they may seem fairly healthy, and balanced... unharmful... in the case of healthy consensual sexual relationships... yes, they are 'closeted', as in, it is not public business... but people go about their lives in a healthy way, and all acts were done in a true consensual way... whether or not it is viewed as the 'normal' way of doing 'sex'...
sometimes it is not though... some of the actions are harmful, people's bodies and emotioanl stability are damaged... and sometimes that 'stuff' that was hidden in that closet, those harmful actions... come out... it becomes a raw truth, out in the open... and for some perhaps a sense of relief at that harmful closet doors are shattered... for others, it means their dangerous ways, THEIR harmful actions are no longer protected by those closet doors... it is open... it is KNOWN...
i wonder if people in the public then reflect... on their 'closeted' issues... patterns... behaviours...
those things that we do... feel... act out... participate in... choose...
that we ALSO put in the closet... maybe before we were not conscious of it's existence, now we see... we too have stuff in closets.
it's really hard to unwind... or unravel... a tightly habituated pattern... especially when it is one that you are trying to keep quiet... deep inside the closet...
another example...is the situation of eating disorders... like bulimia...
that is done in the privacy of one's own home... usually... there is an element of hiding, needing to do it in privacy... of internal thought processes taking over... and acting out upon the physical embodiment...
it is complex... it is dangerous, very harmful... very isolating... very scary...
a truth, that both these examples share: to harm oneself, or others... it is the KNOWING that that is unaceptable behaviour by common social ideals.... is the exact complexity that 'closets' it in the firstplace...
shame... is a common feeling, that i think gets people STUCK in repeating those behaviours...
i am not a specialist... in sexuality, or eating disorders... but i do have sex, and i do eat... and i have grown up in this culture... so i am aware of the complexity surrounding both... and the messaging, and non-teachings... and lack of true comfortable HEALTH with both, that truly permeates all of our lives...
it's the stuff that ends up in our closets...
its the complex stuff, we start off with a bit of shame over.. and somehow.. it has gotten pushed further back into the closet... trying to hide... until, something forces it to come out...
into the open...
and that is hard... but it also maybe is healthier long term... maybe?
i guess i cannot say... to be a person, who is so deeply hiding habits and patterns that are apparently so undesirable to be out in public with... because of the harm they cause... to have those forced out... could be the end...
with those extreme examples, some of those behaviours already are so self-damaging... perhaps this is the cherry on top... and its too much to handle...
it's too bad we have such difficulties as humyns in this lifetime... in this day-n-age...
we all have closets... i believe we do...
our closets...
and i think that they are pretty big... over abundance, over consumption... we don't know what to do do with it all... we need to hide it... to store it... and the closets and storage gets bigger... (now i am talking a bit of clothing as well, i'm talking tangibly and metaphorically!)
what do we have in there.. what do we hide?
things from our pasts... that we did, that we said... that we regret... that we want to hide, forget about it... shove it under that rug... into that closet... and hope it comes with us into the deathbed...
how much do our closets haunt us... come into our minds...interfere with our lives...
perhaps it's minimal... and life moves on... we rarely dip back into closet space... it's no big deal...
an ambivalent relationship we may have with our closets... not too many worries or regrets or shames...
i wish that was true for most...
but some people really have a hard time, and that is hard to go through i think...
and i feel for them... especially if they are harming others... or harming themselves...
to be stuck in that cycle... deep in that dark closet... it's hard.
it's hard to be in denial so deep... out in the world with one appearance, but a heavy truth haunting you from deep inside that closet of your mind...
deep breathe out...
May we all find the ways out of harmful behaviours...
May we find the right teachings, and teachers... to guide us along... to bring us to a place of healthy mind, healthy body... whole health.
to everyone, that looks a bit different... some it may include a strict diet, or extravagant and playful sexual lives...
May those who have too much darkness, stuck inside a closet that exists in their lives... find a way out... find a way to open that closet... let some of it out... to free them up to be in a simple better place.
It's a complex life... so many mixed messages we have received... so many teachings, that do not connect us back to righteous principles...
May we try to connect though, and be true and real...
if not just for ourselves...
to lead an honest and transparent life...
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