Sparkles on our bodies - December 9th

What matters?

What matters?

The little moments. The individual good ones…

As a parent. The good moments. And I guess the bad ones, the challenging ones too… how we recover from them.

What matters? The little ones…with people, with strangers.

What matters, the mindful moments, when I/we remember to enjoy, be thankful, put aside the ‘negative voices’ that like to interfere with basic living!!!

The moments with the people… average humans. A smile, an acknowledgement, a witnessing.

The little joys…. Sparkles on our bodies for decorations. Christmas lights. Baking cookies, eating them as a tea party.

What doesn’t matter… perhaps the fear of the future and what’s to come. Though I know it’s a fine balance… in this time, and just the experience as humyns.  But the getting caught up, in the ‘numbers’, the possible outcomes…

What matters is the real LIVE moments, that may also be live virtual moments. But the LIVE ones are really important too. They are more important than we know. We as humyns need the live moments. We need to keep those HUMYN moments supple.

What matters is basic self-care… body/mind/spirit. It’s paying attention to where we are on all fronts, and doing our best to cover all those grounds, and tend to them.

What matters is making sure we are all cared for, without anger against others. Is that possible? Can we minimize social-policing, can we maximize openness and understanding, even for folks who sit in other headspaces/life-circumstances than our own.

We don’t know other’s experiences. We don’t know others lives.

We don’t know others parameters in which they live.

What matters is empathy for others right now.

Normalizing Differences.

continuums, all the dualities.

connected, all of it.

wherever you locate yourself on any particular debate continuum, you are linked, part-of, as in the yin yang...

it's a WHOLE.

mask, anti-mask.... wear masks often, in particular locations with particular friends... and not in others and with others... I am along the continuum, we all are. can we NORMALIZE that we are different, depending on our lives, our positioning in our relationships, society etc.

can we normalize, instead of demon-ize, or ostracize?

bald head beauty, magazine Beaty, indigenous beauty, black beauty, white, Asian, small-town rural, religious, body, mind, spirit BEAUTY.  Can we normalize that it's all completely relative, and there's no need to question YOUR OWN beauty, as it is YOUR OWN. It is not to be compared, yours is NORMAL. ALL is different, therefore being different is NORMAL.

my Mom

 my Mom was a swimmer- swimmer who swam up to 2 house consistently until she vomited. Dove off the highest towers.

she was a pianist- practiced HOURS a day, until she got her teaching degree. Then STOPPED post making family, and kids.

My mom was a NURSE.

My mom was an orthodox practicing Jew. She was definitely RELIGIOUS.

She was athletic- apparently skid and played all kinds of sports, well.

She died at home. She CHOSE to die at home. WITHOUT MORPHINE. So she could think and be present with us until the END of her life.

isolation... thought moments where I am AGAINST it (not reflective of ALL moments)

 I really wonder at this point, how beneficial isolation is for folks, in the WHOLE-istic sense.

I know for my own father, HIS choice. He was willing to take risk to have us come visit, we were too.

FOr a humyn to be isolated for 9 months, and then many end up dying ANYWAYS, isn't is a better choice to just BE with humyns, rather than be totally ISOLATED?

I UNDERSTAND one of the main 'arguments' for isolation, is to relieve the health care system, so that IT can manage the negative effects/deadly-cases of COVID, taking care of it's ability to support all folks who need medical care. I get that.

I BELIEVE COVID is a real thing. I am not anti- or pro-mask.

I am not scared. I do not have tons of people in my intimate life that are 'vulnerable', so I do not need to be as scared. I went PPE and absolutely see the NEED for PPE, when at work, when entering a hospice, or when speaking to Volunteers I work with, who are sharing time and space with very vulnerable palliate clients that we care for, as an Organization.

I see the role of PPE, I believe COVID is real. It's a time where one NEEDS to say their standpoints on this. This is the MOST important box/label we are placing on folks now. We need to find out their 'positioning' on COVID/distancing, etc.

What I notice is happening though, there are so many levels of DIVIDE simultaneously occurring within culture, within communities. within families, organizations. Especially virtually (or that's where I am seeing it more in my world, because I am a 'user' of social media, mores in these times.

Also, the ISOLATION, and the fear that is actually quite quickly MOVING us to be significantly MORE isolated.  That brings me MUCH sadness, it's actually MORE dangerous than COVID, I feel. This is a place where I know many folks would at this point STOP LISTENING, stop being able to hear another out... assume that I am not taking it seriously, I'm a conspiracy theorist, I am a Qanon person, etc etc.

I am not.

I am a humyn. I have friends who have businesses that are floundering. Meanwhile, the mall just across the bridge from us with Walmart and winners inside is BOOMING. Line-ups/INCOME galore! Is that fair- NO! IF THE argument is to minimize stores open, to minimize cross contamination/spread, it is NOT HAPPENING in the big box stores. Spread will occur there, and on the TTC bus system. Shutting all the little shops down, while big-box remains open, is slaughtering small businesses.

Isolating all the individuals, with the aim to protect the most vulnerable, is DAMAGING the mental health for all the majority of non-vulnerable people. A choice not all are willing to make at this point. And they're not DUMB for making that decision.

In Palliative care, I have learned and KNOW that ones WHOLE quality of life, is important. How QUALITY is one's life, if they are ALONE? Some folks seem to think that is ok. I truly question how on EARTH we can think it is.

I do not choose absolute isolation. 

The quality of my life, my children's life- outweighs the risk of us getting COVID. 

Isolation is DANGEROUS. It has been too long. 

My heart HURTS for all the elderly/vulnerable people- already living a challenged chapter of life/existence, and now, completely ALONE.