OCCUPY TORONTO- 40 days and 40 nights.

October 16, 2011

then you must have solutions, someone said regarding frustrations with the OCCUPATION, and have information out to the masses.

my frustration, is people criticizing it. complaining, critiquing, criticizing.. and yet not doing anything about it.

talking bad about 'no solutions', what are they doing it for, they don't even know... no information, complaint, etc

YET, they are not even going in to the Occupy site, to support or even explore it, to find out what exactly is going on... the growth that is beginning, and the importance of people, from all different backgrounds and missions, being to simply come together- with all these frustrations, at what truly is an unsustainable way of living, unsustainable way of treating the earth.

and eachother.

all the creatures and beautiful perfectional offspring and creations of the earth. the universe.

I don't have/know the solution... as if there was only one...?!?

there are so many problems, there are many solutions.

we as human Communal creatures need to support eacho other. in ALL of our processes, visions... solution- finding-intentions.

we need to share knowledges and wisdoms and fears and skills and passions... together.

we need to just be present to support healthier movement of our people.

i dont know what the solutions are...

but i sure do know that being together in solidarity... to create the 'solutions' to what everyone is saying is our 'problems' -IS the solution right now.

no separate-ness, not back-talking each other. not arresting, or harming. and not CONTINUING the problems that are already existing.

stop hurting the earth. and each other.

and BE together to BE the solutions.

'LOVE is the movement' they say.


October 18, 2011

these beautiful moments of tears...
are sacred.


October 20, 2011

This occupation... WOW.

universally connected.

what we are doing and forming is something SO special.

family, hardships, turmoil.

universal elemental challenges.

bureacracy, politics, Soul, heart, tears, INTENSITY.

i have NO idea how it will turn out.

i have NO idea how long i will stay.

or how it will change.

i am SO present right now...

and all these moments are flowing into these other moments.

i just know it feels right...

there is this ongoing 'warm and fuzzy' feelings- that even when i'm cold... i still feel right.

I feel proud... i keep saying i feel so PROUD of everyone here.... proud and honoured to be sharing in this change.

How can we ever go back... how can we ever separate from eachother.

When we work so well when we are together?

all of us... even when we're not.

we fit into eachother like we are a puzzle.

It sometimes feels really dysfunctional, like many families at times...

PATIENCE- as all the cycles do complete themselves. life, death.

and this concept of 'completion', is an ongoing process.

this flow...

it begins, it ends.

But it is most definitely just like chapters, of a book...

of a series, of a story, of a lifetime, of a century, a generation, a species, a period of time...

a moment.

NOW.

do what is right.


October 21, 2011

Silent in Solidarity- the first silent march and meditation.

Practice Silence.

i stand here in this moment... here simply reminding us all of our life, and our death. to give thanks.

i am also here to remind us to stand up for what is right, even if that is labelled 'civil disobediance'

we are all here with different voices, platforms, perspectives and feelings.

and there are over 6 billion more brothers and sisters around the world who are in solidarity with us, whether they know it or not. we share in this life energy with them.

tonight we will practice being Silent in Solidarity.

there are 2 points i want to raise here for this march:

1- at a legal rights meeting i went to in preparation for this occupation... i was reminded of one of our rights- to exercise the right to silence. It keeps us safe from dishonest people exploiting us for the words we express. legally, and also the framing of the reality by the mainstream media.

2- in actions of civil disobediance, we have seen and BEEN our brothers and sisters, gathering, maybe marching, in large groups... and be teargassed/kettled, and WORSE globally... a back up, and unifying possibility, instead of running/fleeing chaotically.... is we sit. We sit together, we ground. On the earth. we let the earth ground us. when we sit together, we assert our powers together. And we are safe together.

As we walk, SILENT IN SOLIDARITY, we can think of our 'platform', standpoint, position. Our intention.

Why are you here? personally- WHY AM I HERE? Why are WE here? Occupying?

Walk with this.

We will leave here, after a sacred blessing... a short universal blessing.

Carry your sign in your hand. Embody your passions in your heart.

There are many special activists around us who taught me 'Love is the movement'. It is.

We have so many different feelings and reasons of why we are here- and they may not always feel so loving...

but let us channel our energy into this movement.

Let us unify, in solidarity.

and let us be Silent.

Let us carry that power we are GROWING together...

and stand SILENT in support, and Solidarity.


October 23, 2011

As i sit down here to write in the SUN, outside union station toronto, waiting for the bus outta town, to a long overdue family reunion... i realize, i do not have a pen.

SO, i asked- maybe 8 people- and i received ONE.

a smile on my face...

Its amazing right now, LIFE.

'STOP SHOPPING', i want to say.

GIVE more. SMILE more.

I need to make sure i am clear of my wishes.

When you are actively part of the path you believe in... it can ALL happen.

Keeping grounded, keeps me real. and honest, and humbled.

To be more real and real every day...

not judging or clearly making a statement UNTIL i have felt and LIVED a more whole-er experience of IT, or THEM.

Care, because i do. i honestly do.

Be- with my brothers and sisters.

i'm BEcoming really familia-r with my brothers and sisters. in the occupied family.

There are many people who originally lived and shared in the park...

THEY, we, are also believers of many things, but especially in jusice.

SUNNI J, Sunni Justice... the newest name, the newest 'model' *wink

Always changing, in constant change. growing, living, loving.

REVOLUTION.

revolutionary...

I always want to be kept in check.

Occupy Toronto is keeping me extremely grounded, and in check.

Some moments, ego is present, but it is helpful to have a bit, to be able to be with everyone....

the EGO is part of the game of this cultures life.



Human Dynamics

-how are we in blanace with eachother?
-all with the same general intention... changing how we are living being in solidarity.

Selfless giving... sharing.

I have it, he needs it. I share.

When we are strong, we share.

When i am weak, i cry. I receive the medicine from my elders. I receive the true teachings from the elder- the carer of the land- of the ancestral roots of the land.

I keep myself grounded, humbled.

My rants and tangents are full of thoughts right now.

I am FULL of tidbits, of truth and reality right now. I need to process it a bit...

I need to simplify it.

...re-centering...

...re-connecting...

with the outside world, which is the same as my present 'inside' world- the park.

Clear.

Crying at any moment.

Saying something so true... talking such truths... brings me automatically to heart- full tear.... tears.

to feel and release...

i Let the sun in... meditation with the sun.



THIS IS A SPIRITUAL MOVEMENT.
-says Little Bear, a Native Elder, teacher.

a Spiritual Movement.

What is Spirit? I must understand this so that i can know what we are doing here.

Spirit- conscious... deep soul-felt. Honest... intense, energy.

Our movement- Occupation Corporate/$/Greed- is Rooted in Spirit. Balanced in Spirit.

I am nurturing that. I will work to enhance this. Support this. To GROW this.


Interlude

around this time, i was 'maxing' out as i have described it. People were asking how i was, and 'i am not sure' was what came out... i burned out a bit, i overloaded... i was so sensitively emotional, that when i finally LEFT the site, i cried so intensely, it was a matter of time it all came out... when a friend opened up her arms to me, and was able to bear my load... and i cried. and it kept going... i cried out so many diffferent things, feelings... and i went home, to warmth for a bit... i got sick... full body... and i made tea, and i took care... and RE-figured out my balance. i came back to the site for shorter periods of time, in my 4 night INTERLUDE... i could not leave altogether, but i needed to distance, to RE-understand what it ALL meant, contextually, in the context of my life, and my missions PRE-occupy, and into context of what this movement meant globally, and locally in the culture, MY culture.... and when i was ready, 4 days later... i came back. and i continue.... in a stronger, more balanced embodiment. i whole-y, holy... believe in the Occupations... in this Solidarity Movement around the world. As one of my favourite signboards says- ONE HUMAN 100% FAMILY.


October 27, 2011

what are we occupying toronto for?

SO many reasons....

what are we here saying...

so many things.

it is hard for me to process all of them, and then let it all out.

it is so intense right now.

all of it.

you know, we know... that we are harming eachother, the earth...

and yet we totally do it.

this is partially why is so difficult when people are not supporting us.

when peeople, truly our brothers and sisters... are harming the earth, us. and we do not support eachother, us, in occupy toronto, or the ACTING activists, the present selfless service in action activists... are there, marching on the streets, speaking truths out... living these true ways, of serving...

why are we not supported? ethically? morally... in action.

why?

food and money is donated... tents and blankets, tarps and coffee.

but where is your energy, your physical heart and soul... hearing the stories... feeling our struggle... and the victory and inspiration.... of the movement, of people risking the life they 'could' be living... in solidarity... FOR righteousness.

this is what it is.

do we not realize that all around the world, fellow humans and the earth are being exploited for the betterment, for the 'success' of our brothers and sisters? who have the mone and the means to choose better. choose more wisely. choose to live in a way that does not harm others... the earth.

choose SOLELY reducing, reusing, recycling, donating, fair trade, consciously constructed, created, built.... sustainable. loving...ways of life....CHOOSE this path PURELY.

if not...

how do you life with yourself?

how can i live with myself, when i am not taking care, to live as REAL as possible.

REAL, REALITY is hard work... in one way or another...

it involves more labour...

October 28, 2011- notes for LiveStream session at Media Tent

*SPIRITUAL movement- rooted, CENTRED in spiriuality
*patience with the process
*be the change you wish to see
*rawness/vulnerability/honest/open/pure/true
*fighting the right fight... when you are doing what you believe in
*sustainability- humans and the earth- all people play a role
*stock exchange/business world/modern culture... it's hard to see the humans, thus it makes exploitation of other humans easier... WE MUST SEE EACH OTHERS HUMAN-ness
*how does the occupation affect our lives?- people are quitting jobs/school, subletting homes, LIVING AND EMBODYING the change.
*nature vs. nurture- humans harming and exploting one another.
*Morals- i AM a preacher, you BET i'm gonna preach. We NEED to practice what we preach. Occupy Toronto is doing JUST that.

Hypocrite.

I am preaching equality. Yet i get frustrated and impatient.

nov 22, full night, then morning after... threat of eviction all-nighter.

earth, my body.

water, my blood.

air, my breathe

fir, my spirit.


EVICTION DAY- Nov. 23, 2011.

i ONLY UNDERSTAND now that i have lived with them all. and their complexity.

reality, a complex beauty, beautiful and complex.... complex and beautiful.

reality check.

i am touched, and honoured and brought to tears, to my emotions... in knowing how i have touched lives at occupy toronto, and how they have touched mine.

in such true raw and profound ways.

at EARTH level... at the elemental level.

WITH each other.

THROUGH it all.

PROOUD i am... so proud... of it all, of us.

it will NEVER be over... since it has now begun...

us saying... WE CAN LIVE DIFFERENTLY.

BECAUSE WE CAN.... becuase we can, truly.

and we know it... and we've seen it.

and we've felt it.

it is true.... we can live differently.

today, there were hundreds of police officers... surrounding locations, points where my lovely fellow brothers and sisters barricaded themselves in....

i did not, LOCK myself up to anything... but i believe in it.

i will do it one day... for the earth... for trees... for the health and well-being of the earth.

but i am not attached to the things on that land... even tho i love them.

i am attached to the EARTH BEING RESPECTED.

i am also atttached to PEOPLE BEING RESPECTED, and LIVES being treated equally.

i know it is possible to shift.... just subtly shift, tweak... peoples perspectives... simply by being.

being different.

BEING that different way.

that different way of being... of loving.

of being true just BEcause...

because i can be truer,more honest, more kind, more real....

and how sacred it is to do just that.


sacred.

i know what i am doing is right... because the universe keeps truly telling me that i am.

these beautiful little signs, that i am just on the right path.

and so i trust... i just do.

because i know it is right.

thank you. who know that occupy toronto is sacred. who know that it is REAL.

it is REAL as a movement towards betterment... towards change for the better... for ALL in existence.

it has different voices, different directions, issues, themes, intentions.

but it most definitely is for ALL.

it is sacred... love is the movement, and it is a SPIRITUAL movement.

and so i give thanks... sincerely.

Death Rainbow.

LIVE cycles,

Renewal,

Birth,

Growth…

Nourishment,

Life,

Water,

Fire,

Earth,

Air…

Breathe…

Breathe out.

You have to be REALISTIC about what you are actually intending.

a teacher of mine often says 'where attention goes, energy flows..'

and now i say it... sharing it as a teaching, when it emerges as truth, at that moment.

So what we put our attention into, onto... towards... we are moving in that direction... we are putting our consciousness there.

it is more likely to happen, or appear... IT being what we intend.

if i am constantly thinking of an occurence to be happening...

being arrested. finding a job. going to brasil, even though i am not sure the logistics of it.

if i am thinking about it.... scheming, imagining how it would feel... acquiring it... imagining it happening...

then clearly... my intention is actually for it to happen.

and we cannot deny when we are actually heading towards it... if our heart, is desiring it.

if we believe it to be true.

we will manifest it.

or we will at least be part of that coming into reality... since we are moving towards it.

where attention goes... energy flows.

BE REALISTIC.