I am hardly in mourning, compared to the folks who really grew up there... who experience the Danforth ACTUALLY as their backyard...for generations.
but i tell you honestly, as soon as i came close to the area in which 14 people had been shot, and 2 died....less than 24 hours before.... the tears naturally came...
i was totally just consumed with so many awful feelings...
it's hard to put my thoughts into feelings... i was thankful to have found a friend to walk that street with... to cry those moments with...
as i saw many people walking down the street solo... and i realized how sadly accurate that is, reflective of where we are ALL at.... and what YET AGAIN has brought us to such an 'occurrence'. ANOTHER mass killing rampage....
the guy stopped and TOTALLY consciously shot all those people.... dead.
why, are ALL, these GUYS... killing people?
i am NOT blaming GUYS... but i am highlighting that it is them.
i AM blaming patriarchy, i am blaming capitalism.
i am blaming the greed....the entitlement.... the anger and frustration.... and not being able to release it properly... so THEY take it all out... ON OTHERS.
we all do... we all internalize the unhealthy 'ideals', the unhealthy TEACHINGS of capitalism in different ways... we care too much about useless things, like what we look like, what we have/don't have.
We compare too much, to others...instead of working together. instead of living together, instead of living in community together...encountering the same challenges of the natural environment we were destined to ACTUALLY live in... not live OFF of, in an exploitative way.
Which brings me to a really strong point... this horrible tragedy, that made me cry today, and will make me cry over the next days.... this is NOT an isolated one-off massacre. There are more of these types of FUCKED-up phenomenons happening, in our big developed 'modern' cities.
and you know what else? THESE occurrences, where a ton of people get SHOT, and KILLED... happens all over the world...to way less privileged and SAFE folks than us who live up near the Danforth, Toronto, Canada.
a big difference is... today, less than 24 hours later...we have MUCH freedom/safety/power/privileged/ability/space/money freedom to be back walking on these same streets.... having drinks and coffees with our friends....
less laughter, much less....
somber mostly, sad... lots of stopping, and staring... at the places that we heard that 'this was a spot'... where the shots happened... where the video we saw of him shooting- may have been filmed.
for some and maybe many... it was way more traumatizing tonight. maybe it was their backyard.
maybe that old man i saw with the beautiful and very very sad blue eyes today....he looked so sad...i think he must have seen something....a lot of those old folks around...i think some of them walk that street every evening... and many all day too...
something like this has never happened to them here...in their entire lives.
they didn't deserve it.
no one did...no one ever does.
no one ever deserves to be shot.... or raped/killed/exploited/stolen from/inhabited/colonized.
don't you see? it is all connected.
our messed up culture of greed has got to end (as is said in a song i love called amerimakka)
the more we continue with philosophies of 'mine' and 'protect myself; and 'capitalizing', the more all this DESTRUCTION will continue... our priorities are just in the wrong places...
something happened while standing with a bunch of others... there was a large plywood-wall in front of a storefront, that was being spray-painted on, and written on- 'Danforth Strong' in mourning. It was a spot we thankfully were able to congregate, in our modern indirectly social way... we could stop, look, write.... it was a way to FEEL all our feelings, beside folks... we could stop, and share in moments...and just FEEL...it was a socially acceptable place to stop... here, now....
the Danforth, and that spot... really feeling a bit surreal, a bit calm...a bit reflective....
then there was a fast movement,a man running across the street shouting at something.... shocking because although there were cars driving on the danforth now, and a slight sense of 'general day-to-day'...the feeling street level was just different...
but do you know why he was running? HE WAS GETTING A PARKING TICKET. a fucking parking ticket... ON the Danforh, where less than 24 hours ago, 14 people were shot, and some killed.
this man, was probably fucking IN mourning... as we all were, who walked up there, to be present, to witness, to validate this reality that happened to these folks, and this community...
what if, these folks, who were getting parking tickets... were the parents of a child, who was shot yesterday...?
HOW ON EARTH, does babylon/CAPITALIST/money-power-greedy system ACTUALLY ticket people ON this street, at this time?
it was shocking, and sad, and shamefully humorous... like, i was not surprised... i was, but i was not.
they still ticket people...
didn't someone in that department realize that was just ETHICALLY not the kind of energy to put forth into the world, THAT little snippet of the world today... did someone ACTUALLY give the go-ahead, to put some staff out there, on that stretch tonight, TO TICKET?
*deep breathe* out...
we, our society, is breeding folks who kill people... we are doing this. we participate in it in all the ways that the system works... on the backs of others.
our clothes, our food...our money, our power...
it's shameful.
and i have hardly talked about the race/gender/religious/etc stories/assumptions that are inevitably going to be coming out as the story and identity of the shooter-man unfolds....
i am just talking about what brought HIM here, what has brought us here...
and how sad it is...
how sad i am...
how sad this neighborhood is, the one that i am a baby in- only 2 years living here....the one my babies have grown up in now...
how sad the families are of the people shot and killed last night, just over 24 hours ago now...
and how sad it is, that we know of so many parts of the world, where people are dying JUST LIKE THIS, and SO SO so so so so much worse...
and yet we still let it happen... keep having our drinks, our strolls....keep getting our tickets...
who's to blame?
but i tell you honestly, as soon as i came close to the area in which 14 people had been shot, and 2 died....less than 24 hours before.... the tears naturally came...
i was totally just consumed with so many awful feelings...
it's hard to put my thoughts into feelings... i was thankful to have found a friend to walk that street with... to cry those moments with...
as i saw many people walking down the street solo... and i realized how sadly accurate that is, reflective of where we are ALL at.... and what YET AGAIN has brought us to such an 'occurrence'. ANOTHER mass killing rampage....
the guy stopped and TOTALLY consciously shot all those people.... dead.
why, are ALL, these GUYS... killing people?
i am NOT blaming GUYS... but i am highlighting that it is them.
i AM blaming patriarchy, i am blaming capitalism.
i am blaming the greed....the entitlement.... the anger and frustration.... and not being able to release it properly... so THEY take it all out... ON OTHERS.
we all do... we all internalize the unhealthy 'ideals', the unhealthy TEACHINGS of capitalism in different ways... we care too much about useless things, like what we look like, what we have/don't have.
We compare too much, to others...instead of working together. instead of living together, instead of living in community together...encountering the same challenges of the natural environment we were destined to ACTUALLY live in... not live OFF of, in an exploitative way.
Which brings me to a really strong point... this horrible tragedy, that made me cry today, and will make me cry over the next days.... this is NOT an isolated one-off massacre. There are more of these types of FUCKED-up phenomenons happening, in our big developed 'modern' cities.
and you know what else? THESE occurrences, where a ton of people get SHOT, and KILLED... happens all over the world...to way less privileged and SAFE folks than us who live up near the Danforth, Toronto, Canada.
a big difference is... today, less than 24 hours later...we have MUCH freedom/safety/power/privileged/ability/space/money freedom to be back walking on these same streets.... having drinks and coffees with our friends....
less laughter, much less....
somber mostly, sad... lots of stopping, and staring... at the places that we heard that 'this was a spot'... where the shots happened... where the video we saw of him shooting- may have been filmed.
for some and maybe many... it was way more traumatizing tonight. maybe it was their backyard.
maybe that old man i saw with the beautiful and very very sad blue eyes today....he looked so sad...i think he must have seen something....a lot of those old folks around...i think some of them walk that street every evening... and many all day too...
something like this has never happened to them here...in their entire lives.
they didn't deserve it.
no one did...no one ever does.
no one ever deserves to be shot.... or raped/killed/exploited/stolen from/inhabited/colonized.
don't you see? it is all connected.
our messed up culture of greed has got to end (as is said in a song i love called amerimakka)
the more we continue with philosophies of 'mine' and 'protect myself; and 'capitalizing', the more all this DESTRUCTION will continue... our priorities are just in the wrong places...
something happened while standing with a bunch of others... there was a large plywood-wall in front of a storefront, that was being spray-painted on, and written on- 'Danforth Strong' in mourning. It was a spot we thankfully were able to congregate, in our modern indirectly social way... we could stop, look, write.... it was a way to FEEL all our feelings, beside folks... we could stop, and share in moments...and just FEEL...it was a socially acceptable place to stop... here, now....
the Danforth, and that spot... really feeling a bit surreal, a bit calm...a bit reflective....
then there was a fast movement,a man running across the street shouting at something.... shocking because although there were cars driving on the danforth now, and a slight sense of 'general day-to-day'...the feeling street level was just different...
but do you know why he was running? HE WAS GETTING A PARKING TICKET. a fucking parking ticket... ON the Danforh, where less than 24 hours ago, 14 people were shot, and some killed.
this man, was probably fucking IN mourning... as we all were, who walked up there, to be present, to witness, to validate this reality that happened to these folks, and this community...
what if, these folks, who were getting parking tickets... were the parents of a child, who was shot yesterday...?
HOW ON EARTH, does babylon/CAPITALIST/money-power-greedy system ACTUALLY ticket people ON this street, at this time?
it was shocking, and sad, and shamefully humorous... like, i was not surprised... i was, but i was not.
they still ticket people...
didn't someone in that department realize that was just ETHICALLY not the kind of energy to put forth into the world, THAT little snippet of the world today... did someone ACTUALLY give the go-ahead, to put some staff out there, on that stretch tonight, TO TICKET?
*deep breathe* out...
we, our society, is breeding folks who kill people... we are doing this. we participate in it in all the ways that the system works... on the backs of others.
our clothes, our food...our money, our power...
it's shameful.
and i have hardly talked about the race/gender/religious/etc stories/assumptions that are inevitably going to be coming out as the story and identity of the shooter-man unfolds....
i am just talking about what brought HIM here, what has brought us here...
and how sad it is...
how sad i am...
how sad this neighborhood is, the one that i am a baby in- only 2 years living here....the one my babies have grown up in now...
how sad the families are of the people shot and killed last night, just over 24 hours ago now...
and how sad it is, that we know of so many parts of the world, where people are dying JUST LIKE THIS, and SO SO so so so so much worse...
and yet we still let it happen... keep having our drinks, our strolls....keep getting our tickets...
who's to blame?
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