to sleep, or not to sleep...

I´m in the bust station- Tiburtina- in Roma...

not sleeping...

i was... and i just awoke to some man stinking like poop...

nooked right behind me...

not touching... but miliseconds after waking i was up sitting on my bag...

he is in the same place... eyes covered by a dirty shirt.... i am in the same new spot...

my bag- attached to my other 2 small bags by a lock... passport safely attached to my body...

my ´passport´ to the world...

i do not know why i need such an object...

i thought the world was free...

the earth does not naturally have a price- nor any boundaries...

and so i sit here... awake- listening to the shiffling of some cards... another more privelaged man shuffles all night....

i ´sleep´ here.. because well... i can not sleep for a couple nights...

i have come from a comfortable sleep- and i will go to a comfortable sleep again in a few days....

to travel and survive in europe is expensive...

the most expensive part is sleeping.. and transportation...

today i hitchiked here to Roma, was fed by different people, and am sleeping in the station....

almost a free day...

minus the cappucino , cafe machiatto and croissants i ate today for breakfast... look at these luxuries i had...

i have the choice to have these luxuies... i have made this choice to stay in europe- to see, feel, experience more of this world- very much on a budget...

but i have the freedom to make these choices...

i may not have much money anymore- in fact i am very much in debt... but there are SO many people waiting for me to come to their homes... to share with me...

to give me a place to sleep...

where no man will come and almost curl right into me...

in my innocent moments of sleep...

i am not hurt, scared or harmed by this...

i have had much worse, and more invasive things happen to me during my adventures that have at times challenged my faith...

but it never falters....

my faith in all that is life is strong...

with all the bad comes the good...

and it´s all real...

and this i ALWAYS want to see, experience and understand...

it looks like it is maybe around 4 am now, and i just saw a nice-sized cockroach roaming the patch of space i recently occupied in my sleep... and so i think i have lost the desire to sleep...

maybe today- as i roam the streets of Rome... i will find a patch of grass...

and me and Patchemama´s earth will have a little natural snuggle...

this appeals to me...

sleep is so important... to keep the sanity, to give clarity...

so i am thankful to have this semi-freedom to choose right now... to sleep or not to sleep...

and i am thankful that ´normally´- i have safe shelter in which to make this choice in....

we spend hours every day in sleep...

imagine if you had no home, no personal space...

no constant, safe, temperate, clean-ish space to sleep...

yeah, reality...

it´s not always an option...

to sleep or not to sleep...